I had a great job working for a humanitarian organization. I made good money doing my great job. I had benefits along with my good money and great job. My great job allowed me the opportunity to visit places I would have never dreamed of going like Zambia, Ethiopia, Rwanda, and Malaysia. My great job allowed me to feel good about my work…until it didn’t. Well, it’s not that I didn’t feel good about the work, it’s that my place in the world of the work shifted.
It didn’t happen overnight. It didn’t happen all at once. It wasn’t like someone walked in the door one day and announced a change that disrupted everything, at least not at first. It was the slow creep of habit and predictability that moves like a dimmer on a light switch. At first you aren’t sure the light really dimmed. Little by little you notice you are having trouble seeing, so you concentrate even harder on what is in front of you as you lose sight of everything around you. Finally, you realize the light has been turned off, but by this time you’ve become so used to the shadows that you know your way around by heart. Why bother turning the light on? Besides, you’re not sure you even want to see what you’ve missed by working in the dark. It’s become comfortable, so why change it?
My problem is I don’t like the dark places of my heart, mind, and soul. I don’t like them so much that I refuse to ignore them. I want the door opened wide to the beautiful glistening light of the sun, even if it means owning up to my biggest fears, failures, shame, etc. I’m not saying this is easy. In fact, it’s rather painful. Light can hurt your eyes when you’ve been sitting in the dark for a long time. But I know the power of that light. I know the truth that is revealed in that light and I am drawn to it like a moth to a flame.
My light came on in the middle of a dark and silent night somewhere in Zambia. I realized what I needed from the organization and what the organization needed from me were two entirely different things. This was not good or bad, it just was. By recognizing and accepting this truth, I was able to step away from my great job and good money with a belief and confidence that it was time to go a different way. I left it all, counted the cost from A-Z, and decided to go it alone. So was born HTP Consulting.
Have you let the slow creep of habit and predictability dim the light that once caused you to jump out of bed and love going to work? Is it just easier to trudge through the day doing what you know will be expected? Have you given up trying to change things? Maybe it’s time to turn up the dimmer and give the light a chance. Trust me, it might hurt your eyes at first, but light always reveals beneficial and life giving truth.